


A Hole in my Soul

by orphan_account



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Alternate Universe - His Dark Materials Fusion, Gen, Talia al Ghul Tries, intercision as a metaphor for trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 15:02:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19889782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Three times someone felt bad for Damian and his daemon, and one time someone understood





	A Hole in my Soul

“Father, are you sure the ritual is necessary?” Talia speaks softly, cradling her sleeping baby in her arms.

Ra’s looks at her, his face is devoid of emotion. For a second, Talia resents him. She hates how he can be so apathetic even when discussing the future of her son. Of his heir. A few more seconds pass before Ra’s finally speaks.

“Of course it is necessary. If Damian is to become my successor, he cannot have any weaknesses. Keeping his attachment to his daemon as he grows up could prove problematic.”  


“I haven’t been severed from my daemon.” From his position next to Talia, Amir shifts, poised to strike. Talia knows that he’s feeling what she is right now. Her anger and fear. Her overwhelming worry for the baby boy in her arms.

Ra’s expression closes, and Talia knows she’s said the wrong thing. “The only reason for that is because I made a promise to your mother on her deathbed.”

Talia hasn’t believed that in years. Not since she saw an old woman with sad eyes and too much knowledge about the al Ghuls brutally killed. But there’s no way she can tell Ra’s that. Not without risking his wrath. 

Talia tries to think of any other way to convince her father. She opens her mouth to speak, but it’s too late. Ra’s has already turned and walked away.

As soon as Ra’s is out of sight, Amir speaks.

“You know there’s another way to save Damian from this.”

“And what would this be?” 

“Send him to his father.” 

And of course, Talia has thought about it millions of times. Has wondered if she’s doing the right thing by keeping Damian a secret from her Beloved. But she knows that Bruce would either want her to leave the League or give Damian up to him, and Talia can’t do either. 

Talia doesn’t respond to Amir, at least not verbally. But Amir is her daemon, and he knows what she’s thinking. Amir slithers even closer and wraps himself around Talia. For a few minutes, neither of them speak. 

“He will be safe right?” Amir is the one to break the silence.

“The addition of the Lazarus water ensures that the procedure will not affect his brain.”

“And his soul?”

Talia doesn’t answer. Instead she just rocks Damian in her arms. Damian’s own daemon is curled up on top of him. She is so tiny and innocent looking, currently taking the form of a kitten. Talia feels a pang of guilt over what is going to happen.

Talia sighs and presses her lips to her son’s forehead. “I am so sorry habibi.” She whispers. She pauses for a second before adding, even softer, “Please forgive me.”

* * *

Dick is a bit ashamed to admit that he didn’t notice it. Not until it was staring him in the face. But in his defence, he’s been preoccupied lately. Trying to take over as Batman while keeping the public from finding out about Bruce’s death and preventing his family from falling apart (he wasn’t the best at the last one) would affect anyone’s deductive reasoning skills.

Truth be told, Dick might never have realized it if it hadn’t been for their last patrol. It had been an unusually quiet night, and Dick was just about ready to suggest to Damian that they head back to the penthouse early (the kid would probably just scoff, but Dick could try), when the bat signal lit up the sky.

When they had reached the roof of the GCPD, Commissioner Gordon had informed them that there had been (another) breakout at Arkham.

As they flew(!) to Arkham, Dick had quipped, “They should really invest in better security.”

Damian had just looked at him with an amused expression and responded, “TT, you truly are a fool.” But there had been a hint of a smile on his face, so that was progress.

They had made quick work of collecting all the criminals and depositing them back on their cells. Their only complication had been with Poison Ivy.

Before the fight started, Damian’s daemon, Nura, had taken the form of an eagle and was flying high above them in order to spot the missing convicts. That should have been Dick’s first clue, since he personally couldn’t stand Leanora being more than a few feet away from him.

However, Dick hadn’t realized what was up until Poison Ivy had started to fight them. A vine had wrapped itself around Nura and pulled her down. Dick had glanced over to Damian, expecting to see the boy in pain, but to his surprise, Damian had looked perfectly fine. Poison Ivy was evidently surprised as well, since she had stopped for a second, giving Dick an opening to tackle her and put her in handcuffs.

Dick had been wondering why Damian hadn’t seemed to feel anything when his daemon had been hurt, when suddenly the answer had come to him. Damian and Nura were severed. Dick had pushed that horrifying revelation away and decided to deal with it later.

But now it is later, and Dick has no idea what to do. He knows, of course, that Damian had gone through horrible things in his time at the League of Assassins. Had seen and done things no child should ever have to. But this… this is different.

A daemon is a part of someone’s soul. The bond between human and daemon is one of the most important things in a person’s life. To have that bond cut is….

Dick thinks it’s unfair. Damian’s already had so much taken away from him by the League. And now this. The kid deserves so much more.

Well, one thing’s for sure. Dick needs to talk to Damian.

“But why?” Leanora’s voice breaks into his thoughts. She flies from his bed and lands on his shoulders.

“What do you mean ‘why’?” Dick strokes Leanora’s feathers with one hand.

“Does it really matter if him and Nura are severed? Does it change anything about him?”

“Well no, but-”

“Then that’s that. I don’t think Damian would appreciate your questioning either. You know how the kid acts, he’d probably just pull away from you.”

“I don’t care what you think. I’m going to talk to him.” Dick stands up and makes his way to Damian’s room, trying to ignore Leanora’s words.

Dick knocks on Damian’s door with one hand.

“You may enter.” The boy calls out. Dick chuckles softly to himself, opens the door, and walks in.

What he sees there makes him pause. Damian is sitting on his bed, drawing in his sketchbook. Nura is curled up next to him, taking the form of a small dog. They look so at peace that Dick reconsiders what Leanora said. It doesn’t really matter if Damian is severed from his daemon. What matters is that Damian is happy.

Damian looks up from his sketchbook. “What do you want?” The words are harsh, but there is genuine curiosity in the boy’s eyes. 

_Last chance_ , Dick thinks to himself, _Are you going to talk to him about it or not_? He feels Leanora adjust her weight on his shoulder, and knows what she would say. He looks at Damian and Nura, peacefully enjoying each other’s company, and he knows the answer.

“Hey Dami,” Dick smiles, “Do you want to watch a movie?”

* * *

Tim would never admit it, but he’s actually started to care for the demon brat. He wouldn’t go so far as to say he actually _likes_ the kid, but he doesn’t outright hate him anymore. After all, no matter how much Damian denies it, they’re family.

That’s why Tim freaks out (just a little), when Damian gets shot. The thing is, Tim doesn’t really understand _why_ it had happened. The bullet should have hit Tim, but for some reason, Damian had jumped in front of him and gotten shot instead.

“I just don’t get it,” Tim complains to Tikvah as they sit next to Damian’s cot. The kid is hooked up to a bunch of monitors. The bullet wound wasn’t fatal, but Damian didn’t get away scot-free either. “One second, the kid’s trying to murder me. The next, he’s taking a bullet for me. It doesn’t add up.”

“Maybe,” Tikvah says, sarcasm dripping from her voice, “Just maybe, Damian cares about you as well.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Tim replies.

“It’s the truth.” A new voice replies. Tim looks down to see Nura staring at him from where she’s sitting by Damian’s feet.

Tim checks to see if Damian’s awake, but he’s still out cold. Which makes no sense. How can Nura be conscious if Damian isn’t. Unless… unless. Oh. That sucks.

Tim must have been silent for too long, since Nura repeats herself. “It’s the truth.”

This time Tim replies. “What do you mean?”

“Damian is bad at showing it. But he loves everyone in our family. Even you.”

Tikvah gives Tim a look that says ‘I told you so.’ Tim ignores her.

“I still don’t understand,” Tim says, “If he really does care, then why does he act so antagonistic.”

“We’ve been through a lot.” Nura responds. She closes her eyes and snuggles closer to Damian. With how close they are, Tim almost can’t believe they’re severed.

Tim is still trying to process her words when it’s phone rings. Caller ID shows that it’s Dick. Of course. He must have heard about Damian. Tim wonders for a second whether Dick would have called if it was Tim lying on that cot.

Tikvah glares at him. “Of course he would. He’s your brother.”

Tim sighs and picks up the phone. Dick immediately starts talking.

“I heard what happened. Is Damian okay? Should I come over? Is-”

“Dick.” Tim tries to interrupt.

“I mean my case isn’t that important. I can be there in an hour. And-”

“Dick.”

“He’s not going to die right? He can’t die. He’s only ten and-”

“Dick!” Finally there is silence on the other end. Tim takes a deep breath. “He’s fine. Doctor Thompkins said he’s going to wake up soon.”

“Okay. That’s good. Should I come visit?”

“You don’t have to,” Tim has a small smile on his face, “I’ll take care of him.”

* * *

Cass finds him sitting on the roof of a random apartment building. She sits down next to him and waits.

“What do you want, Cain?” Damian speaks after a few minutes. 

“You and Nura. You are severed.” It’s supposed to be a question, but it comes out like a statement. 

Damian looks up and glares at her. “That’s none of your business.”

Cass shakes her head. “You need to talk.” Because it’s true. She’s read it in the way he moves around his daemon. How empty he is. How much it hurts him to keep it all in. And maybe she also recognizes it from how she herself acts.

“TT. You wouldn’t understand.” Damian says.

Cass tries to figure out how to phrase her answer. She finds it frustrating that she can never really find the words to express herself. The only language she truly knows is one that nobody else speaks.

Finally she settles on saying, “I was also in the League.”

Confusion is written in the lines of Damian’s body. Suddenly he shifts, and Cass knows she’s been understood. Neo jumps out of her lap and stalks around the rooftop. Cass watches him, waiting for Damian to respond.

“Everyone thinks-, it feels like-, they all just-,” Damian stops and sighs, “I don’t know how to say it.”

Cass nods, he is not alone in this.

“I just feel like,” Damian starts, looking up at where Nura is flying, “When they see us, they don’t see _us_. They see what happened to us.”

Cass thinks about how it was when she and Neo moved into the manor. How people would go rigid seeing them. The wariness and the pity everyone had around a girl who was disconnected from part of her soul.

“And sometimes,” Damian continues, “It feels like there’s something missing. There’s just a gaping hole where there should be _something_.”

And Cass knows this too. Knows the feeling that she’s lost something. Something she can never get back. And that without it she’ll never be whole. No matter how hard she tries.

Damian shrugs before finishing. “It probably doesn’t even matter. I just want everyone to stop acting like- like I’m broken.”

He buries his face in his hands and Cass can see his shoulders shaking. She scoots closer to him and ruffles his hair. He glares at her with puffy eyes.

For once, Cass thinks she knows what to say. “We’re not broken. You and me are okay. We’ll be okay.”

Damian looks up at her, and his body is showing so much tentative hope that Cass has to hug him. Surprisingly, he doesn’t pull away.

Out of the corner of her eye, Cass can see that Nura has landed and is discussing something with Neo. In Cass’ arms, Damian moves slightly and Cass realizes he’s crying again.

She rests her head on his and whispers to him “We’ll be okay,” over and over again. Cass can tell that Damian doesn’t really believe her, but that’s alright. She’ll keep repeating it until he does.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't read HDM in like forever, so if there are any inconsistencies with stuff about daemons, that's why


End file.
